We're gonna run out of cake at this rate

May 11

Sirona’s epic Clint/Coulson rec list, mark 2

Because EVERYTHING ON TWITTER THIS MORNING IS MURDERING ME WITH PHEEEEELS AND I NEEDED A WAY TO COPE. Ahem.

I haven’t put any of my own comments on this list, because this is basically the ENTIRE content of my AO3 Avengers bookmarks folder and I ADORE ALL OF THESE STORIES UNRESERVEDLY and have re-read each and every one AT LEAST once. ♥

Avengers ‘Verse

decision making paradigms (if it seems like a good idea, it probably isn’t) (4442 words) by sin
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Natasha Romanov/Darcy Lewis
Summary:

The one in which Clint needs to rethink his life choices.

Also, Steve is sneakier than anyone realises, Jane and Darcy are the only reason that the Avengers can function at any given time, Natasha has an eye for photography, Thor is in love with a coffee machine, Bruce is oblivious, Tony is Tony, and Coulson?

Well, Coulson is the straight man as always.

Now We’ve Learned To Kiss The Sky (13813 words) by torakowalski
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

“I’m going to ask you something,” Phil says and then pauses and doesn’t ask Clint anything at all.

“Yeah?” Clint asks, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. “Is it kinky?” It isn’t, obviously; Phil never has a problem suggesting anything when it comes to sex.

Phil shakes his head. He looks up, catching and holding Clint’s eyes. Clint doesn’t make any more smartass comments. “Marry me?” Phil asks.

By the Book (3032 words) by Perpetual Motion
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Coulson figures it out through standard procedure (rumor mill to threatening junior agents to that required weird conversation with one’s boss).

A Different Kind of Love Story (1885 words) by someidiothasice
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

He doesn’t delude himself. He knows that the life he leads, the life of an agent, isn’t fair to a romantic partner.

asking about a scar (and i know i gave it to you months ago) (1262 words) by lanyon
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Characters: Clint Barton, Phil Coulson
Summary:

When he was younger, Clint wished really hard for someone.

They could be on the road to anywhere and they invariably are. Clint’s fingers rest on Coulson’s and, like the trapeze or the bowstring, he has learned the value of grip and he doesn’t leave bloody fingerprints anymore.

Want your kiss (‘cause I just can’t miss with a good luck charm like you) (3567 words) by aliassmith
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Five times Clint and Phil kissed for luck and one time they didn’t have to.

On Edge (1833 words) by cobweb_diamond
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Everything after the gas canister exploded is a blur of aimless terror and confusion until Phil showed up at the end and saved him. Kind of like Clint’s entire life.

Hope is Not a Course of Action (12572 words) by thatdamneddame
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, past Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov - Relationship
Summary:

Clint loved Natasha like he loved a lot of stupid ideas.

still officially lost (11913 words) by pollyrepeat
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Summary:

“Barton has clearly imprinted on you,” Fury starts, and keeps talking right over Phil’s knee-jerk, horrified, “He has not,” to seal Phil’s doom by saying, “so I’ve decided that you’re going to take primary responsibility for him from now on.”

“Oh, god,” Phil says, faintly, before he can stop himself.

//

Otherwise known as, SHIELD: The Early Years.

Touched For The Very First Time (5094 words) by listedheart
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Clint Barton: secretly a virgin. This was not in his file.

The Time to Find a Place to Land (20178 words) by BlackEyedGirl
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

By Phil’s count, this is his third attempt at bringing the Avengers together, although he will admit his participation in the second attempt was more symbolic than anything else. He hadn’t expected Stark to be the easiest sell, or Barton to be the most problematic, but things have changed since he’s been away. [Movie spoilers.]

Story Time with Thor (3924 words) by shadowen
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

One of the earliest truths learned by the children of heroes is the simple, universally accepted fact that Thor tells the best stories.

Phil Coulson, Office Heartthrob (6119 words) by noelia_g
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Every office has a ‘cute guy from Marketing with a great ass’ that everyone wants to sleep with. Among the junior agents at SHIELD, that person is Phil Coulson. Clint would find it hilarious, but he just wants people to stop throwing themselves at his boyfriend.

Five Ill-Conceived Valentine’s Day Schemes and One Perfectly Romantic Gesture (11755 words) by laceymcbain
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Clint Barton & Phil Coulson, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Summary:

“You know it’s Valentine’s Day, sir, right?”

“Yes, what’s that got to do with—it’s Stark, isn’t it? It’s always Stark.” Phil braced himself for the inevitable bad news. “What did he do this time?”

Phil Coulson hates Valentine’s Day at S.H.I.E.L.D. - until he doesn’t.

Statute of Limitations (2652 words) by Saucery
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Clint Barton is a) seventeen, b) only slightly addicted to porn and c) infatuated with Phil Coulson.

Talk to Me (11738 words) by laceymcbain
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Clint Barton & Phil Coulson
Summary:

**CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE AVENGERS (2012) MOVIE.**

The first words Clint ever remembers Coulson saying to him are “talk to me.”

Conviction (8407 words) by Sinope
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Clint Barton/PJ, Phil Coulson/Clarkie (Layer Cake)
Summary:

Coulson gets reborn as a kid named PJ, Hawkeye’s biggest fan. Now all he has to do is convince Clint to give him a shot. History repeats itself, but it takes time.

But I Will Hold On Hope (And I Won’t Let You Choke) (14875 words) by Perpetual Motion
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

In which Clint is not the emotionally stunted one, plays pretty well with others, and Sitwell is a foul-mouthed matchmaker against his will.

Won’t You Please (Leave Your Mark On Me) (19945 words) by torakowalski
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov
Summary:

Clint really likes handcuffs; he’s just not sure how to tell Phil that. Which is a problem since they’ve been sleeping together for a few months now.

Things To Do in Portland When You’re Not Really Dead (31702 words) by laceymcbain
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Nick Burkhardt/Monroe, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Phil Coulson, Monroe (Grimm)/Phil Coulson (past)
Summary:

** CONTAINS SPOILERS for The Avengers (2012) **

Agent Phil Coulson really does have a cellist in Portland, but it’s not exactly what anyone thinks.

(If you’re not familiar with one of the fandoms, you should still be able to follow the story well-enough. Most of the Grimm elements are explained as necessary because they’re new to either Phil or Clint, but if there are particular points that need more explanation, give me a shout. You can check out my Quick and Dirty Guide to Grimm (with pictures of the characters) or kellifer’s Avenger’s Fandom Movie-verse overview.)

*Pairing Specific Details can be found in the Notes section at the end if you’re curious.

Fifty Pound Draw (30336 words) by shadowen
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

There was always a chance the mission would go wrong.

doesn’t matter if I bleed (25450 words) by topaz
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov
Summary:

Clint’s never pretended to be deep. He’s just the guy who sits back and watches, the guy who makes the shot when he needs to. He’s seen a lot of crap in his time, sat through a lot of fucked-up scenes to get to where he needs to be, but this, now—he can’t stand another second of it.

To Say His Name (15114 words) by mapleandmahogany
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Phil recruits Clint Barton to SHIELD and falls for him.
Professionalism is more a nice ideal than a reality with SHIELD agents.
Barton lets out a tense laugh. “You’ve got all the toys, don’t you?”
“I try not to brag.”

5 Times Clint Made Coulson Flour-Based Foods (2160 words) by Perpetual Motion
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Clint feeds Coulson. Domestic as hell.

Learn How To Tell You Goodbye (39951 words) by torakowalski
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, brief Clint Barton/Steve Rogers
Summary:

When Phil Coulson’s life model decoy is attacked on the Helicarrier, the World Security Council seizes the opportunity to send him deep undercover in Russia.

Meanwhile, back in New York, Clint Barton struggles to come to terms with the loss of his handler and unexpectedly finding himself part of the Avengers, a group of people who can’t quite call themselves a team. Yet.

(Warnings in the notes section.)

Words May Fail (The Body Remains) (56474 words) by ladyflowdi
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, [perceived] Major Character Death
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

There’s a beginning to every love story, Clint knows. Theirs just has more bullets and crazy people.

Let Them Call It Mischief (16466 words) by infiniteeight
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Tony runs his mouth, Loki takes it as inspiration, and suddenly the Avengers are a little less human than they used to be. Some of them take it better than others.

There’s a Dog-Related Pun in There Somewhere (Don’t Worry; Tony’s On It) (11410 words) by Perpetual Motion
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Phil gets turned into a corgi. There are emotions involving Clint. That’s literally the entire plot.

5 Scenes to Build a Team (+2 Scenes of Sweet, Sweet Victory) (4373 words) by Perpetual Motion
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Team-building is an important part of being an Avenger (No spoilers!)

Catch Your Voice (14178 words) by lavvyan
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Clint keeps telling himself he’s not obsessed with Coulson. From the way Natasha keeps laughing at him, she’s not buying it either. But it’s only a crush if you know what the other guy actually looks like, right?

Winner Takes It All, Or: Five People Who Wondered and One Who Didn’t Have to (4609 words) by lavvyan
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Jane Foster/Thor, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark
Summary:

Tony can’t figure out if Clint and Agent are married or not, so he does the next logical thing: he starts a betting pool.

Got to Do What You Love (8790 words) by BlackEyedGirl
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Phil has control issues, Clint has power issues, and the Avengers are a bundle of issues. It’s no wonder Maria wants nothing to do with them. Phil doesn’t seem to have a choice.

Graded on the Sanctity of Patience (7910 words) by BlackEyedGirl
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Around about the time Phillipa Jane told her middle-school teacher that Phil wasn’t a nickname, it was her name and not a difficult one to remember, she picked up a reputation. That hasn’t really gone away. [Always-female!Coulson/Clint]

Just Another Guy With A Bow (94117 words) by myrmidryad
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Phil Coulson, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers, Jane Foster/Thor
Summary:

Clint’s life is a steady progression from point A to point B, but it’s everything that happens between those points that make the story interesting. Things like joining the circus, losing Barney, finding Barney, stumbling into SHIELD, trusting Coulson, making a different call when he’s sent to kill the Black Widow, and becoming part of the dysfunctional Avengers team.

/ / /

AU

The Only Hope For Me Is You (11650 words) by foxxcub
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Phil Coulson/Pepper Potts
Summary:

Of course Phil would get into Harvard; he was the valedictorian, student body president, honor society treasurer—it would’ve been a damn miracle if he hadn’t gotten in. In the meantime, Clint had two years of high school left, and Phil was just going to be…gone.

call me maybe (2889 words) by foxxcub
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov
Summary:

One time with his best friend on prom night after a little too much booze wasn’t really experience, but details weren’t important. He’d had sex, period.

Hey Yeah, Look At My Days (4000 words) by nerdwegian
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Characters: Phil Coulson, Clint Barton, Steve Rogers
Summary:

AU. In which Phil Coulson the food critic meets Clint Barton the chef.

Motion Practice (184790 words) by the_wordbutler
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

When Clint Barton takes a job prosecuting traffic offenses and DUIs at the Suffolk County District Attorney’s office, he’s pretty sure his life is finally going in the right direction. But the problem isn’t the direction: it’s where he ends up.

Blue Plate Special (5963 words) by Saone
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, James “Bucky” Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Summary:

Take one ex-circus performer, one homicide detective, a dash of meddling cohorts, a heavy helping of pie recipes, mix well, and bake until somebody gets a date.

All I’ve Got Left To Believe In (35290 words) by torakowalski
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Summary:

Clint Barton is not Peter Parker’s big brother (high school AU).

I’ll Learn To Dance If You Promise Not To Laugh (10137 words) by torakowalski
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Jane Foster/Thor
Summary:

A College AU in which there are long distance relationships, misunderstandings, and no one actually spends any time in college.

/ / /

OT3

The Walls and Roof of This House (5411 words) by Jai
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson/Natasha Romanov, Phil Coulson/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov
Summary:

“I don’t lie to Barton.” “He lies to you.” “Not very well. Not as well as you do.”

A Matter of Importance (5088 words) by Zinnith
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov
Summary:

Five times Phil Coulson watched or listened when Clint and Natasha were having sex, and one time he joined them.

Tell You Secrets Nobody Knows (5126 words) by torakowalski
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov
Summary:

This is how Phil always hoped this would work; this is them, this is teamwork. They know how to do this.

May 08

torakowalski:

askboxmemes:

1) Give me a pairing.

2) Give me an AU setting.

3) I will write you a drabble.

(I’m stuck on my female!Phil fic for the night so why not.)

Well this sounds fun!! Let’s see if it can kick-start the muse… HIT ME UP U GUISE! Can’t promise everything will spark an idea, but I hope to at least get a few done! :)

May 03

Avengers Reverse Big Bang 2013: Artist sign-ups now open!!

erebusodora:

Ffffinished! The first full-colour piece I’ve finished for Marvel Tumblr Con auction))
You can see the progress at my livestream channel… and you’ll get to know who’s the Bond girl here ;3 Also, I’ve explained a few things during the painting process, so I can only hope that’s… educational?.. At least, those who watched it with me know that there’s a reason to torture me for the way I work out the hands’ shape… xD

Was an exquisite pleasure to paint this one, seriously… plus, during the brakes I managed to bake some stuff for the upcoming Eastern Orthodox Easter, yippee)))

I’ll announce when I have a chance to stream something again… sooner than you expect *wink-wink*

OT3 FOR ALWAYS ♥__________♥ Also excuse me while I stare forever. God, what TALENT.

May 02

[video]

May 01

iamjennifergrey:

i’m sorry, have you met my husband, clark gregg?

WHY IS HE EVEN *_________________*

Apr 14

eat all the shawarma!!: queenofshenanigans: therealfoxxcub: scifigrl47: therealfoxxcub:... -

queenofshenanigans:

therealfoxxcub:

scifigrl47:

therealfoxxcub:

scifigrl47:

therealfoxxcub:

that horrible moment when you realize you’re going to write a deaging fic that’s already been written but you don’t care because bb!phil coulson.

You misspelled…

SOBBING WITH NEED #PLEASE

Apr 13

[video]

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

thescienceofobsession:

voodooling:

Another lazy doodle.

the sentiment behind this is blinding.

this is one of the most brilliant pieces of Sherlock art I’ve seen O-O

(via thatdamneddame)

asimplesong said: Finally someone who shares my OTP! ♥

DUDE NO SRSLY I CAN’T LET THIS STAND. There are SO MANY people who share your OTP. SO MANY. ♥ Come into the fold. http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Clint%20Barton*s*Phil%20Coulson/works

[video]

A Discovery of Witches by Debora Harkness: Day one

Started reading A Discovery of Witches (Penguin, 2011) today. To be honest, I only bought this book because of the cover, which those of you who know me will know was for one reason and one alone: *coughOxfordcough*. Yeah, okay, so the blurb was decent, too, but really, OXFORD. Need I say more.

I am duly impressed. For the first thing, it’s DECENT WRITING, which I have come to realise that in this genre is somehow shocking. I am pleasantly surprised by the lone fact that this woman can actually write, and write well. It starts in medias res, as I prefer to start stories myself (this kind of thing makes up for the utter PAIN that I can no longer enjoy books just for what they are: my writer’s eye is ALWAYS narrowed critically, scrutinising every aspect of a book now, which, let me tell you, for this reader since she was four is…annoying, to say the least). She sets the scene well, manages to describe the sitrep with few touches, invokes Diana’s surroundings well, relays information deftly. Sure, F. Scott Fitzgerald she ain’t. but then again, who is? It’s decent. It’s good. I’m excited to read more. I guess that’s Chapter One’s job done. :D

More as I get to it.

Apr 10

[video]

[video]

Mar 31

ralkana:

alykat86:

tawghasa:

ask-agentcoulson:

[[Professor Coulson nO]]

# oh god you’d do lectures just because you know students like attending 
# you’d engage everyone and shit because participation is important 
# fuck you sir 
# professor!phil 
# clark gregg 
# how many students would hit on you phil 
# how many do you politely reject on weekly basis 
# and then there’s young clinton barton in your afternoon class 
# im not even going to start 

…yes please. I would like this very much.

*weakly raises hand*

…me too.

PAWING AT THE SCREEN WITH HOW MUCH I WANT THIS STORY LDKFGHSLFJHSJLDKFHG